Revel
Last night I lay in waiting for sleep and asked to be allowed the 2 most dearest gifts I believed I could attain. Wisdom and faith. As I lay there, I asked this from whoever I could think of who might grant such wishes. Of course I asked God but I also spoke to people in my life who have since passed on. My reasoning was nobody else could hear thoughts in my head and I really don't know with any certainty who is the keeper of these things. I went through the whole rolladeck. My reasoning was those family and friends who had passed on from my life, assuming they could even hear my thoughts, may have some favoritism towards me and may throw something my direction. What is nepotism good for if not this?
I guess my thoughts last night were much like being stranded on an island sending out SOS signals to whomever could see and help. It just now crossed my mind that perhaps when you send out signals like that, even with your thoughts, it's not always folks who have your best interest in mind who can come to your aid but I guess hopefully only good folks rsvp to my mass mailing. I only asked to be allowed Wisdom and Faith, not given, first because this would be asking to be given too much and second, I don't believe these things can be handed over like a second helping at thanksgiving dinner.
Unfortunately last night, I did not hear any voices, see any visions or smell ghostly roses, or be touched by an angel. Anything happening, like a creak in the floors, unexplained tap at the door or strange flash of light I would have happily taken as a sign that someone was listening and gone to sleep with a silly sense of success. I dwelt on these things until I fell asleep and slept soundly with little if any expectations for any resolutions or turnkey knowledge when I would awake.
This morning I awoke to a dream which I could easily remember and was vivid enough that I thought I should write it down so that I could ponder it more. I dreamed that I walked into a giant plaza in some older European city that I didn't recognize. It was cobblestoned and it reminded me of Bruges, Belgium if I was to describe it best. In the plaza they have modern lighting but torches everywhere and strange parades of people marching as groups. Each group was marching towards a general directions but each group was coming from different places in the plaza. In the dream there were handfuls onlookers in random places but I couldn't make out what they were doing. Although I don't remember this from the dream, I feel like it would have been appropriate to have had someone juggling torches and breathing fire in this kind of scene. It was clearly a festival going on and I didn't know what was being celebrated but the chaos and excitement drew me in. I saw a group of 20 people dressed in shining black robes with black hoods marching 2 by 2 in the middle of the plaza heading away from in the direction that it appeared everybody marching was heading. At his point I started to realize that this was some sort of strange dark pagan ritual and I began to realize I should not be in this place. I began to become fearful of where I was.
I was torn my leave and felt very alone but I wanted to stay and see what was going on. My gut told me something evil was going on and yet I wasn't sure. I didn't want to leave because whatever my other option was, was much more boring than exploring this strange world. I was still frightened but then I suddenly pictured myself wearing all white amongst the dark environment and crowd. I told myself that I have nothing to fear because if my gut was correct, and evil lay ahead I was a white knight of sorts and would battle this evil, and certainly could not be swayed. I was only there to observe and although I still had reservation, I felt I could continue on.
I took a few steps towards the masses and a fair, shorter haired young lady approached me out of nowhere. She was obviously in the know and part of the crowd and she could see I was lost. She was cute, and seemed kind and I was looking for good conversation and company. She offered to give me a tour and too explain to me what was going on and I gladly accepted the invitation. This girl led me out of the plaza and away from the festival. She explained that everyone there was part of some religion I knew nothing about. I didn't want to seem completely unaware of what was going on so I lied and said I had read about their beliefs. Next we came to a long and wide darken alley stairwell that led up through another plaza. In this smaller but neater plaza there stood a giant federal style stone building similar to Tontine Crescent in Boston. It was a beautiful building but not ostentatious. In the center of the columns of this building someone had painting a pastel picture of a building crumbling. It was a very rudimentary work, more of a symbol than a piece of work. This girl was very proud of the graffiti and told me the name of the work was "ruins". It looked as if a child had defaced this building.
Next she led me down a what could be described a long truck loading ramp. After a long walk to the bottom we stood at a ledge and looked down into a white tiled room. The large square room was divided into 4 rectangular areas with walls halfway to the ceiling as dividers which was about the same height as the ledge we were looking down from. Each separate area was tiled and could have been filled with water like a pool but was empty now and filled with dirt and grime everywhere all over the walls.
The girl wanted adventure and this seemed like an interesting structure to explore so she convinced me to go inside. The ledge upon which we stood was at the same height as the tops of the dividing walls so we could just leap from our ledge to each wall divider hoping we could gain enough traction to not slip off into one of the pits. She went ahead and leaped across all three dividers and into the far pit and disappeared from view. The first pit I jumped over was the shallow-ist and least dirty and progressive got deeper and more filthy. I jumped to the top of the next divider and looked into the pit and it got dirty still and I had to use the side walls to steady my balance. I was covered in mud and slime from the walls and started to smell something foul at this point and called out to the girl. She told me to keep coming so I nervously hopped to the last divider and looked down. She was at the bottom of this pit covered in mud splashing around. This pit was by far the deepest, far enough down that if I jumped in there was no way to get out. In disgust of the odor I asked if that was bile in the pit which she gleefully responded yes.
I realized this must be a trap and at the very least was very messed up so I jumped quickly and recklessly from divider wall to wall to escape from this girl, this dirty tiled place before the trap was set. I jumped from the last divider to the ledge and realized I had a problem, the trap had been set. At some point in my dream that I didn't notice I had taken the white clothes off, I suppose in order to not get them dirty. I was covered in slime grime and dirt and the long slow truck loading ramp I had walked down to this nasty place was too steep of an incline to crawl on my hands and knees back up never mind walk up. Perhaps if I wasn't covered in all this slime, dirt bile or whatever I was covered in, I could get traction with my knees and hands to crawl out, but as it was I was starting to slip into that first pit and I wasn't sure I would be able to escape and I didn't want to know what would happen if I did fall in. I was scared to move for fear I would lose the limited traction I had on the ledge. My last memory of the dream was me trying to clean the slippery stuff off my hand on my chest and hoping I could get enough traction to make some headway up the ramp. Then I woke.
Now I need to ponder the lessons from this dream and see if I can draw any wisdom out of it. I have gained a little faith, at least the kind of faith I was looking for. So right now, who do I thank for this dream which has been a great gift. I asked so many people last night for help, I just don't know who is responsible. Some will say it's totally my own creation but this dream sure doesn't fit with any dream I've had before so I'm chalking a point up on the more faith column versus the atheist column.
Lever
Last night I lay in waiting for sleep and asked to be allowed the 2 most dearest gifts I believed I could attain. Wisdom and faith. As I lay there, I asked this from whoever I could think of who might grant such wishes. Of course I asked God but I also spoke to people in my life who have since passed on. My reasoning was nobody else could hear thoughts in my head and I really don't know with any certainty who is the keeper of these things. I went through the whole rolladeck. My reasoning was those family and friends who had passed on from my life, assuming they could even hear my thoughts, may have some favoritism towards me and may throw something my direction. What is nepotism good for if not this?
I guess my thoughts last night were much like being stranded on an island sending out SOS signals to whomever could see and help. It just now crossed my mind that perhaps when you send out signals like that, even with your thoughts, it's not always folks who have your best interest in mind who can come to your aid but I guess hopefully only good folks rsvp to my mass mailing. I only asked to be allowed Wisdom and Faith, not given, first because this would be asking to be given too much and second, I don't believe these things can be handed over like a second helping at thanksgiving dinner.
Unfortunately last night, I did not hear any voices, see any visions or smell ghostly roses, or be touched by an angel. Anything happening, like a creak in the floors, unexplained tap at the door or strange flash of light I would have happily taken as a sign that someone was listening and gone to sleep with a silly sense of success. I dwelt on these things until I fell asleep and slept soundly with little if any expectations for any resolutions or turnkey knowledge when I would awake.
This morning I awoke to a dream which I could easily remember and was vivid enough that I thought I should write it down so that I could ponder it more. I dreamed that I walked into a giant plaza in some older European city that I didn't recognize. It was cobblestoned and it reminded me of Bruges, Belgium if I was to describe it best. In the plaza they have modern lighting but torches everywhere and strange parades of people marching as groups. Each group was marching towards a general directions but each group was coming from different places in the plaza. In the dream there were handfuls onlookers in random places but I couldn't make out what they were doing. Although I don't remember this from the dream, I feel like it would have been appropriate to have had someone juggling torches and breathing fire in this kind of scene. It was clearly a festival going on and I didn't know what was being celebrated but the chaos and excitement drew me in. I saw a group of 20 people dressed in shining black robes with black hoods marching 2 by 2 in the middle of the plaza heading away from in the direction that it appeared everybody marching was heading. At his point I started to realize that this was some sort of strange dark pagan ritual and I began to realize I should not be in this place. I began to become fearful of where I was.
I was torn my leave and felt very alone but I wanted to stay and see what was going on. My gut told me something evil was going on and yet I wasn't sure. I didn't want to leave because whatever my other option was, was much more boring than exploring this strange world. I was still frightened but then I suddenly pictured myself wearing all white amongst the dark environment and crowd. I told myself that I have nothing to fear because if my gut was correct, and evil lay ahead I was a white knight of sorts and would battle this evil, and certainly could not be swayed. I was only there to observe and although I still had reservation, I felt I could continue on.
I took a few steps towards the masses and a fair, shorter haired young lady approached me out of nowhere. She was obviously in the know and part of the crowd and she could see I was lost. She was cute, and seemed kind and I was looking for good conversation and company. She offered to give me a tour and too explain to me what was going on and I gladly accepted the invitation. This girl led me out of the plaza and away from the festival. She explained that everyone there was part of some religion I knew nothing about. I didn't want to seem completely unaware of what was going on so I lied and said I had read about their beliefs. Next we came to a long and wide darken alley stairwell that led up through another plaza. In this smaller but neater plaza there stood a giant federal style stone building similar to Tontine Crescent in Boston. It was a beautiful building but not ostentatious. In the center of the columns of this building someone had painting a pastel picture of a building crumbling. It was a very rudimentary work, more of a symbol than a piece of work. This girl was very proud of the graffiti and told me the name of the work was "ruins". It looked as if a child had defaced this building.
Next she led me down a what could be described a long truck loading ramp. After a long walk to the bottom we stood at a ledge and looked down into a white tiled room. The large square room was divided into 4 rectangular areas with walls halfway to the ceiling as dividers which was about the same height as the ledge we were looking down from. Each separate area was tiled and could have been filled with water like a pool but was empty now and filled with dirt and grime everywhere all over the walls.
The girl wanted adventure and this seemed like an interesting structure to explore so she convinced me to go inside. The ledge upon which we stood was at the same height as the tops of the dividing walls so we could just leap from our ledge to each wall divider hoping we could gain enough traction to not slip off into one of the pits. She went ahead and leaped across all three dividers and into the far pit and disappeared from view. The first pit I jumped over was the shallow-ist and least dirty and progressive got deeper and more filthy. I jumped to the top of the next divider and looked into the pit and it got dirty still and I had to use the side walls to steady my balance. I was covered in mud and slime from the walls and started to smell something foul at this point and called out to the girl. She told me to keep coming so I nervously hopped to the last divider and looked down. She was at the bottom of this pit covered in mud splashing around. This pit was by far the deepest, far enough down that if I jumped in there was no way to get out. In disgust of the odor I asked if that was bile in the pit which she gleefully responded yes.
I realized this must be a trap and at the very least was very messed up so I jumped quickly and recklessly from divider wall to wall to escape from this girl, this dirty tiled place before the trap was set. I jumped from the last divider to the ledge and realized I had a problem, the trap had been set. At some point in my dream that I didn't notice I had taken the white clothes off, I suppose in order to not get them dirty. I was covered in slime grime and dirt and the long slow truck loading ramp I had walked down to this nasty place was too steep of an incline to crawl on my hands and knees back up never mind walk up. Perhaps if I wasn't covered in all this slime, dirt bile or whatever I was covered in, I could get traction with my knees and hands to crawl out, but as it was I was starting to slip into that first pit and I wasn't sure I would be able to escape and I didn't want to know what would happen if I did fall in. I was scared to move for fear I would lose the limited traction I had on the ledge. My last memory of the dream was me trying to clean the slippery stuff off my hand on my chest and hoping I could get enough traction to make some headway up the ramp. Then I woke.
Now I need to ponder the lessons from this dream and see if I can draw any wisdom out of it. I have gained a little faith, at least the kind of faith I was looking for. So right now, who do I thank for this dream which has been a great gift. I asked so many people last night for help, I just don't know who is responsible. Some will say it's totally my own creation but this dream sure doesn't fit with any dream I've had before so I'm chalking a point up on the more faith column versus the atheist column.
Lever
